Monthly Archives: July 2015

Mutated Buterflies IV 

Mutated butterflies; returning for their flight. 

Choosing to make their way into the mind and stomach. 

Mutated butterflies; a hidden pain.

Something so delicate, yet so beautiful, alas untouchable.

Mutated butterflies; fluttering away.

Thoughts of beauty and what ifs and everything beneath the sun.

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Specks

“Have you ever looked at the stars, and simply just wondered why we’re here?” She asked. 

“When I look at them,” she continued, “I lose track of everything. I get caught up in thoughts of wonder.”

“The fact that we are just specks in this gigantic galaxy is so fascinating and frightening to me.”

He looked at her, loving every word she said, as usual.  

“The thing is, you’re not just a speck, baby.” He whispered.

“You’re the sun. You light up the entire universe with your ways and your fire, so don’t ever, ever doubt that you’re anything less than that.”


Triggered By Music

She put on the upbeat music and suddenly her heart began to race along with the beat.

Pump, pump, pump.

She was triggered by the music.

Her body could not stop moving along with the music.  The rhythm had taken over her mind and body. 

She was triggered by the music. 

And she loved every fucking second of it. 

Pump, pump, pump, her heart beat harder. Her thoughts began to race. 

Daydreams of partying. 

She was triggered by the music. 

And she has no damn problem with that at all. 


Faded 

It wasn’t that she was running from her problems, it’s the fact that they didn’t exist while she was fucked up.

That’s what sucked her in, really.

She felt like herself when she was faded. Her true self. 

Some would call her out on her sweet little addiction; and in return they would receive a cold bite back. 

She wouldn’t take the bullshit when it came to that. It was something she truly loved.

She felt grounded and lifted at the same time. She felt free and peaceful. She felt more intelligent and capable. 

So she kept on going, no matter what anyone thought of her faded little life. 


Unwelcome Visitor

You make your way into my dreams, uninvited, unwelcome. 

Flashes of what you did. 

Flashes of who you are. 

Flashes of who I was, before you. 

And I awake in a sweat, with tears rolling down my cheeks, wishing that you never existed in my world. 

But the simple fact of the matter is that, briefly, you did exist in my world.  You shattered it entirely.

You took who I was and crushed it, all in one night. 

My spirit no longer burnt bright, my soul was blackened, my heart was absolutely shattered. 

You broke me.

And now you’re back, you’re in my dreams; haunting me for every second you appear in them. 

I wish I could forget. How I wish I could forget that night. 

Alas, there is nothing that could make something so heavy just disappear.

I curse your existence.  I wish nothing but the absolute worst for you. Though that is not like me, that is how I feel; for the trauma you caused me is something that I will never recover from. 


Animals 

We’re animals; all of us.

Some of us are savages, some as gentle and sweet as a baby rabbit, some of us are independent and some are pack animals. 

We do what we can to stay alive, to live our lives successfully.  

Some of us must fight to stay afloat, others drift through life blissfully unaware.

We thrive on love of our peers, on self growth and on happiness. 

We may have different souls but when it comes down to it we are the same; simply just animals. 


Migraines and Bipolar 

I sometimes suffer from severe migraines.  These migraines often get to the point where I faint. 

First comes the headache, then a ringing in the ears and a sensitivity to light, on occasion I get an aura in my vision, next is the sickening feeling in my stomach and lightheadedness. 

They flare up when I have a shift in moods. My mood has changed recently and it’s the only thing I can bring this current migraine down to. It’s only been going on since 3 or so, but it has become more severe as the day has gone on.  

I wonder if this is a trait of Bipolar, so I did some reading into research on comorbidity between Bipolar and Migraines.  It seems that it is, in fact, quite common for people with Bipolar Disorder to suffer from migraines. 

Does anyone else suffer from migraines in association with Bipolar?