The pill count is continually fluctuating;
much like my mood, it would appear.
It all started with one at 14 years of age. Xanax.
My madness worsened, and I was in a somewhat zombie like state when I was on my one drug.
Then came my diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, two years later.
I was just 16 then and I am 24 now, and let me tell you – I have lost count of how many drugs I have been on since being given my multiple diagnoses.
At one point, I was on 13 pills a night.
And it’s a feeling like no other to look down into the palm of your hand and see a multitude of drugs, sitting there waiting to be consumed.
Years later, and I’m on 8 pills per day now.
And it still fucking hurts to look at the amount that is there.