Five Years 

It’s been five years. 

One year of heavy denial.

Two years of feeling guilty, not to mention, repulsed by my own self. 

Three years of diagnosis and treatment. 

Five years. 

Five years of screaming internally,

of hitting myself in fits of unfathomable rage,

of mixed emotions,

of heartbreak and heartache and a lack of trust and also, faith.

Five years of envisioning crushing your world like you crushed mine, 

of crying,

of blaming myself and then hating that I do so,

of panic attacks and a dreadful fear of the unknown.

And I thought that time healed wounds, 

but it seems like this will never end.


About zedmondson

Zoe. 22. Australia. I'm writing to share my experiences with Bipolar Disorder with others. I believe in fighting stigma surrounding mental illness. I believe in being able to wear my heart on my sleeve; or on my blog. And I believe in myself. That's what my blog is all about. Hope you enjoy x View all posts by zedmondson

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: