If you asked me if I’m okay I’d say I’m fine

If you looked me in the eyes you’d see that they are mostly filled with tears.  Not to mention the fact that they have changed to a hazed over, green, as if it’s the eye of another.

If you spent an hour in my mind you’d understand.  You’d learn of the voices in which I speak of – the ones who shout, as well as, the ones that whisper. 

If you felt my heartbeat you’d know that I’m not okay.  For it beats with such ferocity that I cannot keep up and I can see my entire body move with each beat; all due to hypervigilance. 

If you held my hand you’d feel my palms sweat.  The sheer nervousness that pulses through me is enough to cause a myriad of physical effects. 

If you asked me if I was okay, I’d say I’m fine. 

Not a lack of trying

I curse them for not understanding, 

but I soon realise it’s not a lack of trying. 

My mind is as complicated as can be, 

and no one could ever fathom what goes on in there; not even me. 

Her story of delight and dismay dripped from her pen without mercy. 

She wrote; with constantly clenched fists, knuckles white and hands shaking. 

The words rushed out of her mind, almost as if they were longing to be released from the prison that is her mind. 

She ran toward the pages of her journal, chasing an unbeknownst feeling.  Was it happiness she wanted, or simply to live her life freely?